“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began
drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in
concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor
swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground
down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.
If it makes you feel any better, I think the article mentions that that particular passage is from a parody of a memoir or something.
Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom
Image 1: Farbgel Image 2: StoppaRed
I’ve seen a lot of people (mostly women, for reasons which may be obvious) speaking about being worried when going out, be it alone or even with friends, both in the day and at night. I know that a lot of female friends of mine carry around a can of antiperspirant or a pot of pepper to use if they’re ever attacked. What I know a lot of people don’t realise is that there are products out there which work in a violent situation and help in catching the assailant for the best part of a week afterwards.
Known as ‘criminal identifiers’, these sprays are brightly coloured dyes which can be sprayed in the face of an attacker. Unlike things such as CS or Pepper sprays, criminal identifier sprays are legal in the UK.
There’s a few available on the market, with farbgel and Mace’s Stoppared being the mostly highly recommended.
What these sprays do is release a sticky, brightly coloured dye. It’s difficult to wipe away and stains the skin a bright red colour. No matter how hard an attacker might try to remove it from their skin and clothing, the staining typically lasts for around a week and doesn’t even start to fade until after a few days have passed.
Unlike CS and Pepper sprays (which, again, aren’t legal in the UK) criminal identifier sprays don’t cause irritation or pain to an attacker. Instead, they expand and clog up the area sprayed with a kind of sticky foam that’s difficult to wipe away. It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon’s arse to the police.
Each can of the sprays costs around £10 each, though it may be cheaper when buying multiple canisters and if you shop around.
This is an original post, but I’ve released it into the public domain. It can be shared, altered, reposted in whole or in part with no need for attribution (though obviously I would appreciate it!)
cc @misandry-mermaid
It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon’s arse to the police.
That’s brilliant
Oh yeah, this is good stuff.
Also…this is awesome for here in the US too. “Hey, it’s a Nazi rally!” **2 days later** “Hey, did you hear Todd at work was ID'ed as a Nazi? Apparently, he got dyed at a rally, and on Monday when he showed up to work with a red face, the boss called the cops immediately.”
Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you’ve skipped the tutorial and you’re just sort of running about with no idea how anything works
Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you’ve figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you’re supposed to be doing.
it blows my mind when high school teachers think college professors are super professional when this is a literal email i got from my stat professor an hour ago
